SHORT RIBS AND RANDOM THOUGHTS August 20 2018

ANNALS OF JUNK TV-  Have I mentioned that the greatest quiz show is back!!??  CASH CAB is  now available on the Discovery Channel Friday at 7pm (Ch 31 on Suddenlink)  with the one and only Ben Bailey. They were threatening to replace him but who could replace Ben Bailey?? Good show, worth taping although I was looking forward to the promised CASH CAB CHICAGO which doesn’t seem to be happening, so we’ll keep on riding the Cash Cab up and down the streets of Manhattan.  Meanwhile, 90 DAY FIANCÉE has limped to an anarchic muddle.  The LEARNING CHANNEL is the most poorly produced channel I have seen.  We STILL don’t know what happened to Mohammed and Danielle (or as I have dubbed them, the clueless Mohammed and the hideous Danielle ).  Last we saw of them,  Mohammed was working as an Uber driver in parts unknown and Danielle was devoting her life to getting him deported. The new bunch they brought on in the last couple of weeks are even more clueless.

CHINA is celebrating its ten year anniversary of their high speed rail system while  California’s is still struggling, mired in parochial concerns. They’ll even have HSR in FLORIDA soon, from Tampa to Orlando to start out with.

PUPPY PORN- speaking of junk TV, I have become an eager consumer of what I call Puppy Porn.  The Animal Channel “Too Cute” is unfortunately addictive,   They run it early in the morning so it won’t affect normal people, but I tape it. They usually address three different breeds of puppies or kittens.  I’m actually finding this useful since I’m planning to adopt another dog when LouLou passes. (She’s 20 years old and will probably not last beyond Christmas, according to the vet.) I would NEVER pay money for a  so-called pedigreed  dog, but if you’re familiar with the breeds I can see where it would save a lot of time at the shelter.  “I’d like a cairn terrier type”.  The ACTUAL cutest dogs they’ve shown  turned out to be an exotic breed called Cotons de Tulear, little white dogs with CUTE faces but apparently  a hassle to groom.  AND they run about  three large.

SPEAKING OF DOGS- TRUMP HATES DOGS.  He doesn’t just use the term to put down those he’s fighting with,  he actually has a history of  being anti-dog. His first wife Ivanka had a poodle which he tolerated but nothing since.  Barron is growing up without a dog. Sad! I can see why he hates them-  they are morally superior to him. Read what VICE has to say  HERE. 

AND HERE’S SOME MORE.

SHORT edition this week.  He’s exhausting me. 

 

 

 

 

Junk TV I Love- Mohammed and Danielle on “90 Day Fiancée”

On this Fourth of July weekend it is appropriate to contemplate the plight of those who are NOT born into the Land of the Brave. A&E, which delivers the most low-rent TV around, is currently running “90 Day Fiancée- Happily Ever After”. This is a riff on their earlier series and a lot of the footage is the same but it’s so hideously awful that you literally cannot stop watching. The idea is to examine five couples who have applied for the “fiancée” visa, whereby you bring your beloved to the States and if you get married within that time, he/she is well on their way to citizenship.

Last season,  there was an interesting variety of characters. Your have the nice young couple- he from New Orleans, she from Thailand, who are foundering because she would rather be back home.  There’s the hot young actress from Colombia who is obviously going to leave her Okie husband once they get settled in Miami. There’s the Russian babe (SHE thinks she’s gorgeous) who’s miffed that her hubby lied about being rich. And, above all, there are Mohammed and Danielle, whose prolonged breakup is delicious because they’re both such dreadful people.  

Mohammed is 28, from Tunis in Tunisia,  and hot hot hot.  Danielle is 43,  from Sandusky OH and not not not.  I don’t shame anyone for their  looks, but I will shame someone for neglect. Danielle has never made the acquaintance of a comb or other grooming implements. She has three kids and told Mohammed she made a comfortable living. She’s actually heavily in debt. (They met online,  of course.) They get married in Ohio, and to the consternation of the gathered crowd, Mohammed won’t kiss the bride because it’s Ramadan. It goes downhill from there. The five of them move in together and the arguments begin. He’s upset that she isn’t wealthy.  She’s upset that he’s upset. Finally he gets his green card and two months later he takes off for Miami with a woman he met online. Danielle follows him there and the have a confrontation. She agrees to a divorce, which means he could possibly stay in the US. Later, she files an annulment  which will trigger his deportation. He moves to Port Richey but she finds him and has him served. I think she files two different annulments. Mohammed gets work as an Uber driver. Danielle buys a trailer. Life goes on. 

If you have any lingering discontentments about your life, watch 90 Day Fiancée- Happily Ever After.  You’ll feel better about yourself.

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