Happy Easter? Bah, Humbug!

***Here’s an oldie but a goodie in the holiday spirit.***

Easter is my least-favorite holiday.  At Christmas you get good chocolate and lots of presents.  At Easter you get Peeps. No comparison.

As a kid growing up in Eureka, I was subjected to all kinds of barbaric treatment by well-meaning family members. I HAD to have a new coat, made from scratch by a lady on “A” Street, Audrey Hansen and her mother. Anyone remember them? Every coat involved two or three fittings all of which involved repeatedly being stuck with pins. These days we’d call it child abuse. The ladies were still in business when I was in sixth grade and had to have a Tiger Lily costume for the Christmas Pageant. More pins.

My normal hair wouldn’t do for Easter, either. My grandmother would march me down to Daly’s to have my hair permed. Remember that salon on the mezzanine level?  The sulphurous fumes from the frying hair filled the whole store.  Ah, the good old days.

Like it or not, Easter is a big holiday for retail spending. The National Retail Federation tells us each of us will spend $140 on Easter this year.  I’m not even close. I bought some Reese’s and a Paas egg coloring kit.  Don’t ask.  Our Easter Dinner will be a pork roast rescued from the freezer. I like to slow-cook them so that the house smells good for hours.  

That NRF article includes some fascinating data on how people plan to spend the holiday. almost half of you will be in church.  Which is good.  I don’t go myself, but I definitely  approve of church. Almost a third of you will be surfing the web on Easter, maybe doing some online buying. I asked the friendly staff at Partrick’s the other day about their holiday sales and they reported that while their big days are Christmas and Valentine’s,  Easter comes in a close third,  representing maybe 15% of yearly revenues. That’s pretty much the same as on the national level.  

So Happy Easter, everyone.  Support your local candy store and don’t make your kids get their hair fried. And go to the Zoo. It’ll make you feel good.

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TV Worth Watching: “Illuminated Wildlife” and other joys of “North Woods Law”

Those of you who read the blog regularly know that I have a high tolerance for junk TV, especially “reality”. I can watch reruns of The Profit or Save My Bakery. 

But recently I discovered North Woods Law on Animal Planet.  It’s about Maine game wardens tracking illegal hunters,  rescuing lost fishermen and just generally being helpful. They rescue eagles from traps, find old ladies lost in the woods and arrest a lot of people for shooting guns out of automobiles. I didn’t even know that was a thing.  When you watch North Woods Law you learn a lot about Maine, it’s geography, it’s people.  It looks awfully cold.

A lot of it sounds just like Humboldt. They find a medical marijuana farmer cheating by growing an extra field. When they find folks with small amount of weed, they seem to cut them a break.  A LOT of the hunters they deal with are drunk. Just like here. One of the charges they issue tickets for is “illuminating wildlife”.  You’re not supposed to go into the dark woods and shine your headlights or anything else on them because it causes them to freeze in panic making an easy shot for a hunter.   That “deer in the headlights” phenomenon is real!  Sometimes their work is somber as when they recover bodies of missing fishermen.  On Suddenlink this is all available on Channel 233. 

There are half a dozen episodes left in the current season, which is the last one filmed in Maine. Why?   Because of everyone’s favorite idiot Governor, Paul Le Page, who has never been known to walk and chew gum at the same time. Hizzoner  objected to his state employees being filmed so the show is moving to New Hampshire. Read about it HERE. 

Think I’ll go out and illuminate something.

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ALERT! ALERT! JUNK TV ALERT!  “BATTLEBOTS” RETURNS TONGHT AT 8pm ON ABC!!

 

 

How Low Can the GOP Go?

If you live long enough, and have a big family, eventually you’re connected to someone famous, however distantly. My cousin, the law professor, spent three days at a seminar in Rome with Antonin Scalia and is wistful about his recent passing.  Personally, I had no use for the man but obviously his influence was huge and his passing momentous. 

Now it appears that the execrable Mitch McConnell and the band of cretins who are currently running the Republican Party are perfectly willing to bring the government grinding to a halt rather than allow our President to fill a vacancy as prescribed in the Constitution.  The collapse of the Republican Party, decimated by Tea Party defections and drifting without any purpose except obstruction, is NOT good news for Democrats. An intelligent and conscientious opposition is crucial to any party. 

Remember not too long ago when Republicans and Democrats actually GOVERNED together?  The GOP/Tea Party has never accepted the legitimacy of this President because he is Black, and I have heard some of you express this. You know who you are. Will the GOP continue down the path of darkness and Know-Nothingism aka Trumpism?? Say tuned.

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Three Things I Didn’t Know Until Now

Forwarded for your edification:

‘Fraid of spiders? Get used to them. Every household in the United States harbors about 100 of them.  But they only kill about seven people a year. Snakes kill five. This was in Better Homes and Gardens so it has to be true.

That actor who plays The Asshole in the National Car Rental ads, the guy who doesn’t want to talk to mere humans and negotiates a raise with himself, is Patrick Warburton, who played Elaine’s idiot used-car salesman boyfriend, the one who told her she was going to Hell.  I sure didn’t recognize him. Guy is a genius. I didn’t used to appreciate those ads but I’ve seen the light.

The unemployment rate in Shasta County  is 8% according to the Redding Searchlight-Record.  That’s compared to 5% for Humboldt County.

(Bonus)   According to the same paper, Red Emmerson of Sierra Pacific Industries is still rich. In fact, his Forbes ranking increased from 481 to 435 while his worth remained about the same, meaning some folks above him in the list had a tough year.  HERE’S the story.

(Another bonus)  Wild Rose Farm in Blue Lake is the larges quinoa producer in the US. You would have known that if you’d read the Greenway newsletter last week.

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